Even as an avid reader of “self-help” literature, there’s nothing that beats lived experiences. You can read all of the advice and guidance and tips that are on the market, but unless you’re putting this into practice – it’s pointless. Being armed with all of … Continue reading Lived Experiences
Pushing all of your chips into the middle can be one of the more frightening aspects of playing poker. Unless of course you’re confident that you’re onto a winner! So why do we find it so difficult to commit fully in life when we know … Continue reading Going ‘All In’
In a modern world obsessed with the validation of others, it’s important to maintain your own sense of worth and not jeopardise it by basing your assessment of your value on how others see you.
Social media is one of the greatest developments of the modern era, allowing people across the globe to maintain contact, keep up-to-date with breaking news and allow people the freedom to explore the world from the comforts of their own homes. But it also has a lot to answer for in terms of self-esteem.
The introduction of the ‘like’ function shifted the user’s focus from ‘showing others what I’m doing or feeling’ to ‘how do others feel about what I’m doing or feeling?’ Giving over the power of emotion to others.
What you enjoyed, naively unaware of how others were receiving your posts and photos, now became available for others to consciously or subconsciously provide their opinion on.
The list is endless!
We became slaves to the like button, judging our own experiences and thoughts on the clicks of others. Sometimes removing the post if it didn’t hit the requisite numbers of interactions in a certain period of time.
So why not take back control? Ignore the likes that your posts get. Focus on the feeling you had with the experience that you are posting about, rather than the manner in which it is received.
It made you happy and you wanted to share.
It doesn’t matter how others received it.
What is it in our psyche that causes us to actively shy away from things? Not in terms of having an introverted personality, but instead seeking to keep ourselves away from the limelight, new experiences or new people.
For most the answer is likely to be simple; we fear failure.
That could be failure in terms of task, acceptance or a whole host of other outcomes that we create in our own minds. Nobody actively wants to fail, but why do we tend to consider failure more frequently than we do success? Why when we envisage talking to somebody new do we think – ‘what happens if they don’t like me?’ – rather than thinking – ‘what happens if we develop a bond?’
The mind is a formidable thing, but we need to harness its ability to provide us with a positive mindset, rather than allowing it to constrain our mindset to jump solely to the worst case scenario.
What happens if you do really like that new experience? What about if you demonstrate a talent for it? Could it become your creative outlet and be something that adds a huge amount of positivity in your life?
So go for it.
Stop focusing on the reasons why not to, and instead shift that thinking to ‘why not?‘
What’s the worst that can happen?
To stop
To realise it’s all just temporary
To appreciate the now and not look too far ahead
To speak up
To tell them how you feel
To appreciate what you have
To ignore the views of those that don’t matter
To be mindful of how it impacts those that do count
To realise it’s not going to be forever, unless you make it so
To stop waiting for it to happen and instead bring about its change
Challenge yourself.
Whether it be that extra task, mile or rep.
We become comfortable from going through being uncomfortable.
Identify your vices.
Figure out what triggers you to turn to them.
Find ways to overcome them and stop them from dictating your weaknesses.
Take a moment to appreciate what you’ve got.
Think less about what you think you need, but in fact only want.
One day you’ll wish you could get all of this back.
Try to take a positive perspective on things that come your way.
Life is tough and there will always be challenges to face.
But your outlook on those challenges, is just as important as those challenges themselves.
Don’t go through them negatively, instead go over them with positivity.
Go outside and enjoy the natural world.
The earth is changing before our very eyes.
What you love about nature, could be gone – forever – soon.
What Next? 