Tag: mindset

Ever been stuck?

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Have you ever been stuck and not sure how to find your way out of it?

It could be a relationship, a job, a commitment, or a whole host of things. How does it happen? And perhaps more importantly, what can you do about it?

How does it happen?

As human beings we’ll always be victims of habit and circumstance. We are where we are because of a series of large, and small, events that are either within our own control or beyond them. We make choices and undergo the consequences; simple. Except what happens when the consequences begin to cease to bring the same enjoyment of outcome?

A date doesn’t provide that some buzz. A new project at work doesn’t inspire the same enthusiasm.

Is this simply experience or something that requires a shake-up?

We’ve all persisted in relationships that should have been ended a while back; the familiarity and comfort stops us from doing something about it. The fear of starting again, learning new things and having to ‘reveal’ yourself again tends to inhibit our desire to change. But it’s necessary.

If something isn’t getting your all, when that Friday night doesn’t provide that same butterflies feeling, when that Monday morning brings a feeling of the mundane, it’s time for a change. You’re doing yourself, and others, a disservice if you willingly remain stuck in a situation that you no longer wish to be in.

So what can you do about it?

The first thing to do is to acknowledge it. Like with any problem, you need to identify that it’s an issue if you’re going to do anything about it.

And then don’t hide from it.

Attack it.

Identify what’s causing you to feel that way about it. Is it a temporary issue or something more established? Is it because of mindset or the situation? Have you got your eye on something – or someone – new and that’s taking a greater shine? Whatever it is, you need to think it out.

And then don’t hide from it.

If it’s relationship-based, it’s more than likely going to be a time-related issue. Sadly things begin to lose their sheen over time, but you need to discover something particularly important before you take any drastic steps.

Have you lost your sheen?

Are you a different version of yourself than when you first started the relationship? Are you a better version of the person you were at the start? If yes, then great. If no, then it’s time for some deeper introspective discovery about why.

If it’s work-based, it’s more than likely an experience-based issue. What was interesting at first, becomes mundane over time. Are you being challenged in your role or have you achieved everything that you can? Is there room for growth or promotion, or is the ceiling undeniably clear to you? Is the industry outgrowing you or are you outgrowing the industry?

Unfortunately with work, the necessity for money is always a factor. Starting again in a new field would be an incredibly straightforward decision if you could lift your current salary into a new role. Sadly that’s unlikely if you’re completely starting over.

We tend to stick where we are because we fear being too old to start again, but you’re likely a long way from retirement. Can you see yourself doing this for the next 20 or 30 years? If not, then do something about it now, otherwise you may end up looking to restart in another five or so years and you’ll be even worse off than now.

Take a look around. Ask questions of others within your own field. Reach out to others in new fields and see what it’s all about it.

We often view our current situation through the darker shades and see newer opportunities with rose-tinted glasses. It may not be all that it seems. But you owe it to yourself to find out.

You Can’t Do Everything…

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…and that’s absolutely fine!

Too often society – social media – bombards us with the idea that people are able to do everything. And those that can’t are failing.

But real life doesn’t look like that.

Spreading yourself too thinly will mean the likelihood that you won’t be able to do anything particularly well and that’s of no benefit.

That’s not to discourage trying everything, but with the knowledge that NOBODY can do everything. At least not without the assistance of others.

So stop comparing yourself to others and instead look to create the best version of you. Appreciate what you have, what you can do and the time you have now. You’ll yearn for it all in the future.

Imposter Syndrome

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Ever struggled with Imposter Syndrome?

Here’s 3 simple tips to help you make it work to your advantage!

#1 – Remember that you’re there for a reason

In a world obsessed with holding others back, you’re in the situation because you deserve to be. Whether that’s being brought along by others or through your own perseverance, these other people are simply mortal too

#2 – Exploit the opportunity

Rather than focusing on why you shouldn’t be there, take the opportunity to identify what others have that make you feel like they do belong! Listen more than you speak and soak up the knowledge

#3 – Fake it ’til you make it!

90% of life is making people believe you know what you’re doing. Show outward confidence and people will have no reason to doubt you. Be part of the room, not just in it

At the end of the day we all have those nagging doubts; they’re what make us human. Don’t let opportunities pass you by because of them. If not you, then who?

Identifying 5 Non-Negotiables

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The things that you always have to bring to the table to keep striding forwards…

#1 Showing Up

In a world where everything has become more accessible remotely, show up whenever you can. Make the effort, build the personal connections and watch networks develop that are simply not possible from a Zoom call. Be present, be proactive, be persistent.

#2 Embrace The Process

If it was easy, everybody would do it. Often tasks are tough, but resilience is invaluable. These are the times to sharpen the axe with which future trees will be cut. Don’t shy away from the hard work, instead attack it with purpose.

#3 Seek Opportunities For Self-Growth

Sticking to your lane is the quickest way create future regret. Diversifying your talents is the simplest way to stay ahead. If others are embracing a new format, take its best aspects. If there’s a skill to add to your bag, start now.

#4 Drag Others Up With You

Being selfish has its benefits, but empowering those around you is the easiest way to grow. Being the fountain of knowledge is great, but what if you could also have others with this be part of your team? Delegation becomes easier the ship runs itself!

#5 Value The Outcomes

Life doesn’t give out participation medals. If you fail at something don’t ignore it, instead identify why. What caused it? How can similar issues be identified and prevented next time? And if it worked, great. Now do it again – better.

Great Expectations

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Pip would have told us to reign it in a little, so why do we still hold such great expectations of our hopes in others?

We ask others to uphold our own values and then are surprised when they choose not to in the pursuit of self preservation. Is it that our own standards are too high or is that society compels people to behave in the primary area of self interest?

Constantly we expect others to show the same integrity as we do, without ever really seeing anything akin to it. But we cannot let our own standards drop. We must continue to operate at the highest levels and attempt to pull others along with us.

Stay true to who you are!

The Comfort of the Known

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Firing up Netflix and re-watching a series or film, rather than trying something new.

Picking your next book based on the same author that you have enjoyed in the past, rather than taking a chance on an up-and-coming writer.

Listening to the back catalogue of an artist, rather than giving the new creators a chance to make it into your Spotify playlist.

There’s always something in the comfort of the known. Something that is familiar, unchallenging and warm. But what happens when it becomes limiting? What happens when you don’t ever really try anything that’s new?

It’s a problem for most of us, staying confined to our own previous experiences as we know what we like and don’t wish to ‘waste’ time trying something new that may not necessarily be to our tastes. We load up the same series (Suits, The League or Power) or watch the same film (American Pie, The Equalizer or Taken) because we know we can effortlessly disengage and enjoy what we consume.

Maybe it’s an attention deficiency issue. New things require new efforts and greater concentration. We already know what we need to know when we go back into the old favourites. But this comfort prevents new material achieving that same comforting status.

So try something new. Give it the same opportunities that you gave your current favourites and see what happens. No, not everything will work out positively, but there’s a reason why you have your favourites now; you gave them a chance in the first place.

What if you can’t find your why?

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Reading about the need to find your passion and strive after it relentlessly. But what if you can’t find it?

What if you can’t find the thing that motivates you to get out of bed and attack the day?

What if you’ve found a place of comfort? One that’s as equally unthrilling and uninspiring as anything else. One that seems too late to get out of for a fresh start.

What if, perhaps, you don’t have a why?