Challenge yourself.
Whether it be that extra task, mile or rep.
We become comfortable from going through being uncomfortable.
Tag: competition
Building Up, Not Down
It’s come to my alarming attention, that a lot of the time when seeing other people’s successes, I’m often wanting to see them fail rather than celebrate their success. I blame this largely down to being involved in sports from a very early age. Sport fosters and builds a competitive spirit that can lead to a toxic mindset of needing to see other’s lose, in order to allow us to win. Be it that last second free-throw or watching others struggle in general; the mindset is that you want your opponents to falter for your own gain.
But what happens when that mindset infiltrates normal life?
Well, we still need to be somewhat competitive in life to be ‘successful’. Job interviews require you ‘winning’ against others and that will require, in some part, your competition failing in comparison to yourself. It involves you highlighting your strengths, which becomes a highlighting of these weaknesses in others.
But there isn’t always a need for this competition, whereby you are directly competing with others.
Be it cars, houses or holidays, society has drilled into us the need to compete. Social media ‘likes’ effectively force competition and that’s a large reason as to why I no longer use Facebook. A quick aside, this decision was reaffirmed recently when dining out. A couple on the table next to me sat without conversation for 10 minutes, instead dedicating their focus solely to their phones. Their dinner was served and they instinctively asked the waitress to take a photo of them with their meal. Big smiles, etc. and the photo was taken. They ate their meal in silence and then left. But I suppose it got them the likes they craved on their relevant social media platforms. Behind that snapshot always lies a different picture.
So why do we seek to build down, rather than up? A lot of it is to do with us looking for validation by comparing ourselves to what others have. We do not seek to enjoy the now, instead looking constantly for what we can have next. We judge our own possessions and achievements by who else has them, or can have them.
Instead of judging our own worth by comparing to others, consider how our own worth makes us feel. There is no greater feeling in life to be contented with life. Seek contention in what we have, rather than what we think we need to make us happier.
What when motivation is lacking?
I first set up this blog as a cathartic exercise. A chance to unburden some of the thoughts and feelings that come to mind, as and when they do. It’s worked. The posts put up so far have helped with the meditative process of exploring the thoughts that come to mind. Perhaps that’s why I’ve not felt the need to post in a while.
Until now.
For as long as I can remember I’ve always been involved in sport, largely through being part of a team. The camaraderie and friendships that have been built over the years cannot be understated. Teammates have become friends and I would not have it any other way. But now, the older I get, the less important the element of sporting competition has become. Training and game nights have no longer become a climactic focal point of the week; instead almost becoming a nuisance.
The need to go toe-to-toe on the sporting field has weakened and I would like to think that this is due to the necessity of winning becoming less important as life and its priorities change. But there is a nagging doubt that it’s because the task of winning has simply become more difficult with age. I’ve seen teammates succumb to retirement and consider that it’s potentially on the horizon for myself. It’s not something I’ve thought of until the clock ticked on the wrong side of 30 and I’ve long been of the mantra of ‘you’re a long time retired’ so have always sought to look to extend any opportunity of playing sport. But right now there is half a season left and no desire to commit to it in the manner I would normally expect. Though I am not one to quit halfway through a job, so the games will be competed, but whether the mindset is right for them remains to be seen.
The motivation to travel on a weeknight and face off against old foes is waning. A more sedentary life is looking more appealing, but that’s a slippery slope to begin down. Easing out of a sporting lifestyle will impact on the normal lifestyle led. I’ll no longer be able to kid myself that it’s fine to have treats in the diet because I know there’s at least two hours of high intensity sport being played each week. Add into that the convenience the activity provides to catch-up with friends, and it’s a perilous double of an increased waistline and withdrawn friendship opportunities that comes to the fore. Neither of which are conducive to the reality I wish for.
It’s time to remember – You’re a long time retired…
What Next? 